Why Should We Care About Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children?

By Brianna Mobilian November 18, 2020

Emotional intelligence is a hot term these days, and for good reason. Science backs up why having a heightened E.Q. is an incredibly valuable skill. There’s a good chance that many of the people you respect, admire, and want to emulate have a high level of emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware, have empathy for others, and are great at maintaining relationships.

As people, there is huge value in being emotionally intelligent. And, that value is just as important to have as parents. Emotionally intelligent parents are able to connect with their children in deep and meaningful ways. These types of parents are emotionally healthy adults that recognize emotional expression, see expression as an opportunity to connect, label emotions in words, and carry the torch for the next generation of emotionally healthy adults.

Before we can start raising an emotionally intelligent child, we should take a few moments to understand what E.Q is, and why emotional intelligence in children in essential-- especially in today’s day and age.

how to raise an emotionally intelligent child

What is emotional intelligence in kids?

As simple as it sounds, emotional intelligence in children is when they are in touch with emotions (their own, as well as others) and are able to manage their emotions. When a child is emotionally intelligent, they will be able to use that understanding for emotions to: solve a problem, make a decision, or change something. In simple terms, they will act in emotionally healthy ways that foster healthier social relationships. A child will be able to respectfully set limits and also adhere to the boundaries of others. Building emotional intelligence in kids sets them up for a lifetime as emotionally healthy adults.

raising an emotionally intelligent child

Why is emotional intelligence in kids essential?

There are many reasons why raising an emotionally intelligent child is important. Here are four reasons that provide more understanding:

E.Q. helps your child build empathy and communication skills: A child with a higher level of emotional intelligence will be able to understand empathy as well as put empathy into practice with others. They will pick up on what seems to be negative emotions and label them--sadness, frustration, annoyance, anger, etc. Quick side note: We don’t believe that any emotion is actually negative, and only that they can be perceived that way or feel uncomfortable.

Having empathy and good communication abilities become important skills as children get older and find themselves in more social situations where they are expected to behave in a certain way, like in school or at the library. Emotional intelligence in kids helps them to understand how to communicate effectively. They will understand verbal cues. An emotionally intelligent child understands that screaming is connected to someone else’s emotion rather than their own, and it doesn’t require them to have to scream back. They are able to remove their own emotions from more emotional situations. Emotional intelligence helps your child understand social situations and the people that are in them for what they are.

You may be thinking, “Gosh, my child can actually be the first one to scream. Can they become emotionally intelligent?” The short answer is yes. You may not witness magic overnight, but with practice and consistency, your child will become more emotionally intelligent. You’ve got this, and so do does your child!

Emotional intelligence gives kids true self-awareness: Heightening emotional intelligence in kids helps them to be self-aware. They will understand their role and impact in situations, and how they can use their own power to help influence a situation one way or another. For example, emotionally intelligent kids have a greater sense of when someone is frightened, and when they can help try to ease that fear or run and get help if needed. They will use their inner skills to guide them towards the most appropriate action and have an understanding of why.

why emotional intelligence matters in kids

Emotional intelligence helps kids manage stress and foster self-control: Sadly, it’s not just adults that get stressed. Children work with stress of their own, and managing it takes skill. An emotionally intelligent child will be able to better sense their stress as stress and manage it by controlling their emotions. Let’s say a child with a high level of emotional intelligence becomes a bit scared. They will have an understanding through their emotional scope that screaming won’t help the situation. Instead, they will practice whatever types of regulators they’ve learned to calm down, like deep breathing or grounding exercises. Or, they will leave the room and find an empathetic and supportive adult to help.

Emotional intelligence helps them build lasting relationships: An emotionally intelligent child will enrich their relationships on a long-term basis. From meeting new people to becoming best friends to forming lasting relationships, emotional intelligence is crucial to helping a child connect with those around them. This is because a child is more able to prioritize both their own, as well as the other person’s emotions. Science shows that substantial and long-term emotional connections benefit people in numerous ways. These types of relationships are important to development in all stages of a person’s life from infancy to the elderly.

Raising an emotionally intelligent child makes a true and positive difference in your child’s life for the long haul. It also helps to strengthen the bonds between you and your child now. Emotional intelligence is what fuels your child to engage and interact with the world around them in healthy ways, rather than just going through the motions and doing what they see others doing. Your child is a future adult that will shape the world in the future. And, they are a child that can do so now by fostering emotional intelligence.

teaching emotional intelligence to children